Monday, 26 November 2012

That's Life!

1)      You’re sitting back in the tub and a hot guy is standing above you, trying to piss.  He’s a bit piss shy, but you’re an expert at this.  You talk dirty to him, goading him to release his golden shower on you because you want it oh so bad.  “Mark your territory, man.....I need it....right on my fuckin’ face.....fuck man, I can’t wait to see that piss shoot outta that hot dick....”  And on it goes.  But there comes a point when you just run out of things to say.  You’re spent.  Even you can only manage “I’m your cum eating whore” so many times with feeling.   So you fall silent.  And lo and behold, he pisses!  Eureka!  That’s when a troubling thought hits you – he was probably just too polite of a fellow to tell you what he was thinking – to shut the hell up.


2)      Speaking of piss:  You get a text message from a guy asking if you’re free tonight for a hook-up.  You have no idea who this person is, and ask for his name.  He texts it and still, you are stumped.  You text back, saying sorry, the name isn’t ringing a bell.  He texts back with “You pissed on me and then fucked me.”  You’re still stumped because, hell, that could be anybody...


3)      Speaking of piss some more:  Carter and you have played and gone to bed (you’re letting him stay the night because he had too much to drink and he lives far).  In the middle of the night, he stirs and gets up and wobbles.  “Carter, are you ok?” you ask, but he doesn’t respond.  He lurches forward and winds up on the couch, which faces the bed.  He is looking in my general direction, but not really at me, and I realize he is sleepwalking.  He stands again, and I know very well not to startle a sleep walker, so I say gently, “It’s ok Carter, come back to bed, come this way...”  He gets off the couch clumsily and stumbles near the bed and then stops.  And pisses, all over the carpet.  I just watch with resignation – there is nothing I can do.  When he goes in the morning, I will be on my knees scrubbing.


4)      Speaking of my carpet some more...Ok, so you have a cold.  Is that going to keep you from an edging session?  Hell no!  Because tonight is special.  You’ve saved up a week’s worth of loads in a pill bottle and you’re going to play with it.  A strange fetish?  Not on Xtube!  You’re hard, you’ve had a drink, and this is the moment.  You open the pill bottle and take a whiff of the cum.  The smell is both that of bleach and manhood, and it smells divine.  The trouble is, the smell prompts a sneeze, during which you lose control of the pill bottle and the contents go flying onto the carpet.  My poor, beleaguered carpet – how much more can it take?  There is nothing hotter than watching a grown man with a hard on sniffling and scrubbing cum out of a carpet.


5)      You’re at the bathhouse, feeling like a million bucks.  You walk the halls and you know everyone there wants you.  Even the hot guy you just passed who didn’t make eye contact with you at all – he’s just shy, poor thing.  You ponder how he was probably intimidated by your sexual energy.  Thinking this, you suddenly feel your footing lose itself, and you realize minutes too late that you didn’t notice a step that was in front of you, and you trip.  Alpha male becomes bottom bitch in two seconds flat!


6)      You know you live in a gay village when you move into a new apartment block find out that your neighbour is a past trick.  A trick that called you for more and whom you never responded to.  A few nights later while out at the bar, you meet a hot guy who asks to take you home.  You discover that he lives in your block, and not only that, in the suite above you.  So you’re the guy who flushes at 3 AM on the dot each night!  You hesitate about going to his apartment for fun, because, after all, you shouldn’t shit where you eat, right?  But then you consider that the walk of shame home will be very short so what the hell....


1 comment:

  1. This seems to be the best place to write about piss as here goes. This may have to be in two parts because, well, I've had a lot of practice.

    I know exactly when my fascination with watersports started...the summer of 1982. Ok, I'll admit that a friend of mine had an x-rated mag called "liquid plummr" that I had thumbed through a few times, and I had not been repulsed at the idea of pissing with another guy, nor did I gag when one of the pics showed a guy pissing into another guy's mouth. I must have filed my feelings for those pictures away until... hot Sunday afternoon I came home from the beach. My habit was to wear my Speedo home under a pair of shorts because I liked the feeling of jerking off afterward with dried salt water and a still slightly damp crotch. It seemed like I always produced more precum those times than any other. On this particular afternoon, I opened the closet door and looked in the full-length mirror. At 27, I looked damn good. I had lost weight, been working out for two years, had a great tan with a Speedo tan line, and I had never looked that good before. I had an instant boner as I stood in front of the mirror admiring my new biceps, rubbing my nipples on the pecs I had not noticed I had before, and decided that in a pair of socks and a pair of high-tops, I probably had the best looking legs in town.

    My cock was leaking precum like crazy, but I had to take a piss. I didn't want to stop what I was doing for something as mundane as taking a leak, so I just stood there feeling the need to piss take on a new life. Staring at my hard cock, I felt piss wanting to make its way out, but at the same time, I was still leaking precum, licking it off my finger, and casually stroking the underside of my cock. Something else wanted out...and bad. I laid on the floor; I stared at my cock, becoming hypnotized by what I saw and preorgasmic by what I felt going on. Something was going to come out...was it cum? a big river of precum? piss? I waited; I watched. Resisting the urge to flex my cock, I felt something right inside my cock just waiting to be released. I knew when the right moment would be, and at just that time, I flexed my cock...shooting a stream of piss that hit the top of the door. MAN!! I remember that feeling just like it was an hour ago. I wanted to do the whole scene again, and I did. Three times.

    Then the guilt hit me. I had been standing there, a study in self-admiration, telling myself how damn good I looked because nobody else ever told me that...and I was pissing all over the room. I wanted to let the rest of it go in the toilet...but my cock stayed hard - harder than ever - and I had to turn to the shower. Guilt's evil twin said "Let's try that again" and Guilt went off to do something else and was never seen again.

    I got down on the bathroom floor and let the piss fly. Out of my hard cock, piss was squirting on the wall, the mirror, the sink, the shower curtain, and on me. I wasn't interested in rubbing it all over myself; I was hypnotized by the piss squirting out of my cock. I was having a total body orgasm; every part of my being WAS my cock. and then, one last pump with my hand and a huge load of cum squirted across the bathroom. And there is the beginning of a new life chapter.

    The moral: drinking plenty of fluids on the beach on a hot summer day may change your life.