1) You’re
sitting back in the tub and a hot guy is standing above you, trying to
piss. He’s a bit piss shy, but you’re an
expert at this. You talk dirty to him,
goading him to release his golden shower on you because you want it oh so
bad. “Mark your territory, man.....I
need it....right on my fuckin’ face.....fuck man, I can’t wait to see that piss
shoot outta that hot dick....” And on it
goes. But there comes a point when you just
run out of things to say. You’re
spent. Even you can only manage “I’m your
cum eating whore” so many times with feeling.
So you fall silent. And lo and
behold, he pisses! Eureka! That’s when a troubling thought hits you – he
was probably just too polite of a fellow to tell you what he was thinking – to
shut the hell up.
2) Speaking
of piss: You get a text message from a
guy asking if you’re free tonight for a hook-up. You have no idea who this person is, and ask
for his name. He texts it and still, you
are stumped. You text back, saying
sorry, the name isn’t ringing a bell. He
texts back with “You pissed on me and then fucked me.” You’re still stumped because, hell, that
could be anybody...
3) Speaking
of piss some more: Carter and you have
played and gone to bed (you’re letting him stay the night because he had too
much to drink and he lives far). In the
middle of the night, he stirs and gets up and wobbles. “Carter, are you ok?” you ask, but he doesn’t
respond. He lurches forward and winds up
on the couch, which faces the bed. He is
looking in my general direction, but not really at me, and I realize he is
sleepwalking. He stands again, and I
know very well not to startle a sleep walker, so I say gently, “It’s ok Carter,
come back to bed, come this way...” He
gets off the couch clumsily and stumbles near the bed and then stops. And pisses, all over the carpet. I just watch with resignation – there is
nothing I can do. When he goes in the
morning, I will be on my knees scrubbing.
4) Speaking
of my carpet some more...Ok, so you have a cold. Is that going to keep you from an edging
session? Hell no! Because tonight is special. You’ve saved up a week’s worth of loads in a
pill bottle and you’re going to play with it.
A strange fetish? Not on
Xtube! You’re hard, you’ve had a drink,
and this is the moment. You open the
pill bottle and take a whiff of the cum.
The smell is both that of bleach and manhood, and it smells divine. The trouble is, the smell prompts a sneeze,
during which you lose control of the pill bottle and the contents go flying
onto the carpet. My poor, beleaguered
carpet – how much more can it take?
There is nothing hotter than watching a grown man with a hard on sniffling
and scrubbing cum out of a carpet.
5) You’re
at the bathhouse, feeling like a million bucks.
You walk the halls and you know everyone there wants you. Even the hot guy you just passed who didn’t
make eye contact with you at all – he’s just shy, poor thing. You ponder how he was probably intimidated by
your sexual energy. Thinking this, you
suddenly feel your footing lose itself, and you realize minutes too late that
you didn’t notice a step that was in front of you, and you trip. Alpha male becomes bottom bitch in two
seconds flat!
6) You
know you live in a gay village when you move into a new apartment block find
out that your neighbour is a past trick.
A trick that called you for more and whom you never responded to. A few nights later while out at the bar, you
meet a hot guy who asks to take you home.
You discover that he lives in your block, and not only that, in the suite
above you. So you’re the guy who flushes
at 3 AM on the dot each night! You
hesitate about going to his apartment for fun, because, after all, you
shouldn’t shit where you eat, right? But
then you consider that the walk of shame home will be very short so what the
hell....
